mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
