So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
