We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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