dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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