I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
