you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
