I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
