so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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