Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
