Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
