Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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