My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just blew my weed a kiss
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
