Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
