Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
