No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
