Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
