Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
