Sponge bath it is.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
