Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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