That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
