if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
