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I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
