like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
