dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
