Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
