dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
