D3 body, D1 cock
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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