you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
