I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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