dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
