i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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