I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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