i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
