I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
