she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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