I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
