We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
