You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
