A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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