I think I died a long time ago.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
