The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
