I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
