I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i believe in u and ur pee
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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