i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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