i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
zippers are such a cool invention
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
