Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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