I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Dear god my vagina.
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