"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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