The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
