check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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