and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
