Jerry, you need to find god
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
