i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
