what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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